Twenty five years ago I wrote out my life purpose prayer which is a prayer full of scriptures that the Lord brought to my heart over months of praying on what to include. At that time I wrote it, I was in college with dreams and plans, but really no idea of what life had ahead. As I considered scriptures to include, I remember my thoughts as I selected Prov. 31:25 “I will always laugh at the days to come.” Being a fairly happy soul in general, I thought, “Ok Lord, you have prompted me to put this in there so I will, but I’ll always laugh and enjoy life. That’s who I am. No problem!” Ha! I had no idea what would lie ahead and how badly I’d need to read that often!
Over the years, I have prayed this prayer back to the Lord thousands of times. It is a reminder of what the Lord desires for me to be. I have failed miserably at fulfilling this purpose at times and I have enjoyed the blessings of living out these scriptures at other times. This prayer has been before me as I’ve gotten married, graduated college, moved to Tennessee, become mom to my Alli, taught many students, begun my interior design business, led various ministries, struggled with my own selfishness, fought my desire to run to various comforts instead of God, struggled with my marriage, gained many deep friendships and experiences, walked through cancer with my mom, adopted and poured my heart and soul into my Lanie, my daughter who came to us out of hard places, walked through a broken marriage, fought to survive divorce, wandered in the desert struggling to pick up the pieces of life afterwards, began to rebuild my life and more.
Now I look ahead at 2019. I read this prayer again and realize God’s truths and purpose for us are the same today as they were twenty five years ago.
I’m still the spunky, creative, Jesus and people loving girl that I was back in 1993 with the same spiritual gifts, and innate desires and skills, but now with a whole lot more wisdom, experiences, depth and understanding of my weaknesses and my need for Jesus. Some of the circumstances of my life have been far from what I hoped for leaving me disappointed and asking questions of “Why?” Others were adventures well beyond what I could have imagined. Through these seasons of joy and pain, righteousness and failure, I have come to know much more of how amazing my God is and how desperate I am for Him. Today is a fresh beginning with new circumstances, but with the same God and purpose as was there in December 1993 when this prayer was completed. So my prayer remains…
Lord, I will (still) make it my goal to please you… for I am made for your purpose…
Please Lord, give me the strength to do this well. I am desperate for you!